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Saturday, June 9th, 2001
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11:51 pm
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My throat feels like some sort of live Neptunian bacteria are devouring my tonsoles.
This is not a pleasent feeling. At all.
Reading back over my journal gives me a horrified thought: What WOULD a Lake of Wufei be like?........
*shakes head over the typos*
current mood:  sick
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| Friday, June 8th, 2001
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1:59 pm
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Yes. My surge of updates are entirely based on the fact that I didn't update hardly at all this week. =D =D =D =D =D =D
current mood:  creative
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(comment on this)
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1:55 pm
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We have decided on our skit for the con. We are going as the gundam boys sent on a recon mission to the con disguised as women. This will neatly get over our lake of Wufei.
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1:51 pm
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I want a soda.....
I can't have a soda.......
*cries*
current mood:  distressed
current music: Stevie Nicks "Sorcerer"
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1:46 pm
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I have decided that my excellent memory for dumb trivia is not nessesarly a bad thing. For one, if information is ammunition, I suppose that makes me an armory. For another, who cares if I can't remember where I put my watch? I can recite from memory the arguments for and against the theory that Gerald Gardener 'borrowed' a great deal of his idealogy from Aleister Crowley, with a dash of nudism and tree hugging thrown in. I'm sure that uttelry and completely useless tidbit of information will serve me in the future.
.......come to think of it, where *did* I put my watch?......
current mood:  bouncy
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1:38 pm
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1:32 pm
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You know this really is an excellent CD. *listens to Track 12. Fall From Grace for the fifth time this afternoon*
Is it really afternoon? I mean, I woke up at eleven. I've been up for three hours. Therefore, isn't it more like midmorning?.....
current mood:  awake
current music: Stevie Nicks "Fall From Grace"
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| Thursday, June 7th, 2001
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10:10 pm
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Rough day today. Everything that could conceivably go wrong at work, did. Computer broke, ended up fighting with both our RIS support and IBM about getting it fixed. Freaking checking account has gone haywire. Slept through alarm clock until eleven even though went to bed at midnight. Was supposed to be at *work* at eleven!!! Want to eat entire godiva chocolate bar except am on diet. Am eating popcorn instead and is not satisfactory. Busy-busy-busy at work with repairs and questions and dispenses, so made no money to justify being busy. And more I just don't want to get into.
Lezard decided to ask if anyone objected to me being readmined at FFO. Didn't ask him to do that x.x;;;;. Hope that doesn't blow up in my face. >.<;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
Need bed. And choclate. But since am on diet (and apparently channeling bridget jones), bed will probably have to do.
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10:01 pm
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| Saturday, June 2nd, 2001
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11:55 pm
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I remember dumb things. My capacity for recalling utterly and completely useless information never fails to astond and amuse people, including my exasperated self.
For example, I know which stores in the mall are owned by the same parent companies. I know that an old term for "groundhog" is "wistlepig". Tableskirts were invented because in Victorian times people thought young men would become aroused by the curves of a table leg and have the urge to unite with furniature *coughs*. Many people interpet the song "Shout" by Tears for Fears as being political commintary on American nuclear weapons in England during the Cold War. Nuriko's seishi mark means "Willow", but the only two character's who's constillations you find out in the series Fushigi Yugi are Tamahome's and Hotohori's (Crab and the Sea Serpent, respectively). The director of the movie Payback was fired and rehired several times during hte filming of the movie. The movie "Cleopatra" was supposed to be two movies; "Cleopatra" and "Cleapatra and Mark Athony" but the studio was going backrupt and thus condensed it into one. White pines have five needles in a bundle. Trees in the red oak family have sharply lobed leaves, in the white oak family, they have softly lobed leaves. Sassafras is no longer used to make Root Beer because it is carinogenic. Good public speakers disperse nervious energy by clenching their toes. The WWII movie Tora! Tora! Tora! is considered by most film historians to be the most accurate representation of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor. The classic "Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini" was written about the author's small daughter's swimsuit adventure.
The scary part is, I can keep going on like that indefinately x.x;;;;;;;;;;;;; Why can't I remember useful things,l ike the multiplication tables? Nooooooo, I have to know stupid stuff. x.x;; I would be deadly on jeapordy. Alex Trebeck wouldn't know what hit him.
On the up side, E-mode says I have a gold aura.
---We don't need a psychic to tell us that you're giving off a Gold vibe. You couldn't ask for a better color ? a glistening gold aura is as good as it gets. A lively blend of yellow and orange, gold people are happy, playful, energetic, sensitive, and generous. Always up for adventure, you'd give a friend in need the shirt off your back. You're spiritual, too ? all those halos in old paintings aren't colored gold by coincidence. Almost childlike in the carefree, joyful way you live your life, you're popular and outgoing with your large circle of friends. Chances are you're so full of light and energy that you sometimes find it hard to sit still and chill out. Instead, you're constantly looking for excitement, no matter how risky or impulsive the occasion. Happy-go-lucky and always laughing, you truly are as good as gold. ---
That sounds like me. =P
Bart: Except the part about being a spazzball.
x.x;;;
Ignoreth e mini sig....
current mood: hyper
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| Friday, June 1st, 2001
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9:35 pm
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Just checking it to say I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. Been busy and not home. Came home to make sure I could spent some time with Iaian, and he left. x.x;;;;;
Will post a productive update at some point.
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| Tuesday, May 29th, 2001
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2:33 pm
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you know, I get wicked irked when I make soup and it comes out badly. Okay, okay....when it comes out absolutely, utterly, and completely disgusting x.x;;
At least the dogs seem to be enjoying it.....
current mood:  irate
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12:55 pm
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Sometimes things come a hell of a lot easier when you stop trying so hard. Intellectually, I know this. However, intellectually knowing something and actually DOING it seem to be to very different and incompatible concepts with me until I stop trying so hard, which is the problem in the first place.
Ahhhhhh. Logic loop.
There's a concept that my friend (and estwhile mentor) Deb has been working with me on called "grounding and centering". If you've read Mercedes Lackey's books, you've got a vauge idea of what this entails, except to the best of my knowlege no amount of it will actually let you throw fireballs, which is a bummer, because think of how much time and effort that would save in grilling! >=D
Anyway, what it does let you do is maintan your calmness and focus under pressure (among other things) and keep other peoples emotions from running you over, which is a big issue for me, Alicia The Emotional Cypher/Barometer. Centering is merely finding that calmness in your center (which is located around the heart chakra, if you know where that is) and holding it. Grounding is feeling a connection between yourself and the ground that makes you feel, well, grounded, and less likely to be knocked off balance. The grounding part I have a lot of trouble with.
I have a *lot* of trouble with this concept. I always have. We basically used to do the same excercise in Tae Kwon Do, and I sucked at it then too. You know how vexing it is to have excellent form and still be unable to mantain a stance??? Argh!!!!!!
I'm trying to hard. I know I am. I can get it, too, which is vexing. I can and HAVE done this, but then I get startled by it or I doubt it or I get distracted and POOF! It's gone. Praticing helps, but you know, the problem is,a nd I KNOW the problem is, is that I try too hard, and I get in my own way. Grrrrrrrr...................
Oh well. Will work on it, but first must go get coke and food. Starving.....
current mood: hungry
current music: Unforgiven -- The Go Go's
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11:38 am
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My kittens are cute. They crawled under the covers with me this morning. It was adorable. Then my cat Chrissy decided to sleep on my head. That was not adorable. Waking up feeling like your head is in a furry vice is an experiance, lemme tell you.
I have thingies to do today. It's girls night tonight, and I'm going over to Deb's early to create my D & D character. I am thinking I either want a half-elf bard or rouge or sorcerer or a monk. I definately want a half elf. Their stats are the most flexable.
current mood: awake
current music: "Warning"--Green Day
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| Monday, May 28th, 2001
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10:21 pm
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Well, I can't keep brooding. What have I been up to, what have I been up to....
Lessee.
1) I have become the Posterchild for the New Age Movement's younger generation.
2) I am obessive over the movie a Knight's Tale and have currently seen it twice, and will probably see it a third time this week. Ohhhhh, pretty boys on horsies...*drools*
3) I reallyreallyreallyreallyreallywant to see Atlantis.
4) Unfortuantely, Atlantis is coming out the weekend I'm going to be at the anime convention in Merrimack. I'm cosplaying Quatre because my whole group of friends are doing group cosplay with Gundam Wing as our theme......like every other group there, more than likely x.x;;;. I will win because *I* have goggles. >=D I got elected to be Quatre because I'm blonde and as I wear contact lenses, I can wear goggles (unlike my glasses-wearing compatriots). I'll do a fairly good rendition. HOW we're going to make Emily look like Heero is beside me. Em has waist length black hair. I have NO clue what we're going to do with it, aside dress her as Heero-with-a-Rogaine-overdose....
5) I've got Dr. Demento's thirtieth annviersery collection and am very pleased with it. I have made "Stressed" by Jim's Big Ego my new theme song: "I'm addicted to stress that's the way that I get things done when I'm not under pressure then I sleep too long and I hang around like a bum and I think I'm going nowhere and that makes me nervious..." Ugh. That's me. Terrifyingly, so is the part about caffine consumption. I sat down and did the math and realised I consome *more caffine* than the guy in the song. This is uttelry and completely terrifying, as said man has five cups of coffee, one expresso, and two diet sodas a day. I really need to get that bumber sticker that reads "What's blood doing in my caffine system?", as this is sadly the case with me. *drinks another coke*
There's a whole bunch of other stuff going on too, like the thing with the duck *snickers* but I wont' go into all of that. =P
Ohhhhhhh and I have two new kittens! Freya and Sophie. =D They're very cute.
SEREN! E-MAIL ME! AIM ME! I'D TELL YOU TO ICQ ME BUT MY ICQ IS BROOOOOKEN!!!!!!!!!!
=D
current mood:  crazy
current music: Sorcerer -- Stevie Nicks and Sheryl Crow (Trouble in Shangri La)
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10:04 pm
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I didn't think I would ever go back.
I don't know why I did. =\ I miss what was there once, but I don't know if anyone noticed when I left, or if they cared. Well, except for Iaian....but he doesn't count. =P
I needed that space. I needed to cut ties with who and what I was, because who and what I was was stifling me. Then I realised that I didn't know who I was anyway, and it didn't matter how far I ran, that wasn't going to change.
Sitting down and realising that your sense of self is frighteningly delicate and vaugly defined is an absolutely terrifying experiance. Realising that there are a lot of people you cared a lot about you lost because you were scared and you'd run away is worse.
I don't know if I can ever put that back together. I suppose it doesn't really matter, as long as they know I missed them.
Bah. I'm being moody and criptic again.
current mood: scared
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9:57 pm
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9:55 pm
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9:54 pm
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That's....not......a fox..........
current mood: frustrated
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9:53 pm
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Ohhhhhhhhh KAWAAAIIIIIIIII THEY HAVE FOXES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
current mood: jubilant
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alettacarrias's journal